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PROMISCUITY FOR THE MIND
Music to amplify (pun intended) your reading.
Lipps Inc. - Designer Music, https://bit.ly/GOTTA_HAVE_A_LABEL
Rolling Stones – I can’t get no satisfaction, https://bit.ly/NO_SATISFACTION
In the overall scheme of the 'invisible hand of the market ', 'marketing' is one of the bigger fingers enabling differentiation and the creation, communication, delivery and sustenance of value. Then why is it that despite getting all the labels in the world, consumers today can't get no satisfaction?
'Convolvolutists'. It needed a new term to describe that special breed of over-marketing people who intentionally take something simple and intuitive – and with a combination of obfuscation, casuistry, confoundment and the most convoluted explanations, kill joy. And then create fear, uncertainty and doubt. They are usually Geeks, self-styled gurus, new converts, or over-eager manufacturers. And they can drive regular people nuts.
In category after category, product after product, they have systematically OverMarketed to make sure customers have no choice at all. No choice between 'their' choices. In this sense, you must choose between a Plutonium or a Uranium Credit card. It is NOT a choice between having a credit card or not. Mr. Hobson, Mr. Morton's fork, or Mr. Buridan's ass does not even begin to describe the position of the hapless customer. Look at some examples of everyday products that were a snap to buy.
Shoes as it used to be...The kind you use to take a walk in the morning. For something that will protect the feet. March on, and fear not the thorns, or the sharp stones on life's path – Kahlil Gibran..that’s the general idea. And a little cushioning would be welcome too. When the old ones wore out, you went to the shoe store and bought a pair of new ones. You, specified your size and, since the color you liked was never there (!), you were done.
Shoes with OverMarketers. A motley group that includes specialists from ergonomics, advanced materials, design, engineering, wind tunnel testing, suspension bridges, fastener tech, CAD/CAM, sports, biomechanics, human physiology and we can go on all day. It was their fault they spent so much money on their education. Now we have to pay for it via shoes which incorporate all of these areas. The OverMarketers, a critical add-on component of this stew promise us that this brand – that model will annihilate the competition, devastate the running track, incinerate the opponent or pulverize the planet – take your pick. Now with shoes like that, the good middle-aged citizen, a kind father and loving husband who just wanted a quiet morning stroll is catalyzed into a testosterone dripping Neanderthal ready for an MMA style fight to the death with the nearest newspaper vendor. No wonder there is so much road rage around. And so much less poetry...To take a stroll you need to now choose between types of suspension, fusiform shapes, lacing/fastening systems, advanced materials that deal with moisture, wear and stray bullets, traction and friction, color, camouflage, steel and nylon reinforcement and that all-important name of the sportsperson, radioactive element or inhospitable terrain. Besides you pay so much for it, it seems a crime to use it at all.
The Simple Joy of Riding a Bicycle Two wheels, two pedals and a somewhat sexist choice of whether you wanted a bar in front or not. And this is the simple formula of a morning of cycling. Used to be.
Post OverMarketer Bicycling It is now an arms race open to the general public. The amount of technology is truly mind-numbing. Carbon fiber, steel, aluminum, advanced composites, hydroforming..the list is endless. There are bicycle electronics for shifting gears, onboard computers to monitor heart rate, speed, laps, you name it. There are specialist manufacturers for seat posts, seats, cranks, chains, cassettes (yes cassettes), hubs, frames, rims, tires, tire valves, handlebars, stems, bar wraps, helmets, pads, eyeglasses, shifters, brifters, shock absorbers, ad infinitum. And individually or together they cost several bombs. A medium-hi-end road bike can set you back several thousand US$. And weight is everything. And speed is everything. And aerodynamics is also everything. And everything is is everything or soon it will be. You had a brake remember. Now that is passe. You have a brifter which is a combination brake and gear up/down shifter which is aerodynamically aligned and doesn't require you to move your fingers from the optimum position. You actually have, I kid you not, 'eggbeater' spokes which are flat so they slice through the air better than round spokes! And then clothes and shoes and a water bottle...And then the obsession is manic. It is estimated that in a 40 km race you save some 4 seconds if you shave your leg hair and 2 if you tape your laces over so they do not flap. Hell, there's even a term for it "MAMIL". Middle Aged Men in Lycra – the type who ride super expensive bikes clad in body-hugging clothes and cleated shoes! No one interested in bicycling would be seen dead on anything other than a Detonator, Interceptor, Assasinator, Threatener or some such bike visiting death on at least a city-wide scale. And some carbon graphite and brifters, spokes, shaven legs, taped shoelaces and of course lots of Lycra.
And here's the thing. If one needed to exercise, one would need the most energy-inefficient bicycle right? Heavy, creaking, obstinate and laces that would get stuck everywhere. Why in the gym would you want to lift feathers? And here is the killer point. A bicycle usually weighs 20 kg and can be bought down to 10 kg or less at enormous cost. The rider weighs 100kg. A rider dropping weight will yield disproportionately more results than any bicycle technology money can buy !!! No-one is listening, for the OverMarketers have done a superb job.
Time for a cup of coffee One could buy a cup of coffee. ….in a coffee house. A ‘coffeehouse’ meant the place with incredibly adventurous and momentous influence – like the Viennese Coffee House or the Indian Coffee House which is a co-op run by Coffee Workers. Viennese Coffee House Culture", as listed under the Intangible Cultural Heritage of the Austrian National Agency (a part of UNESCO) is described as a place 'where time and space are consumed, but only the coffee is found on the bill.' These are places where planet-shaking political revolution is fomented, writers and artistes hold forth, Communists, Bolsheviks, Sandinista and other such exotic people congregate, The Raj can be experienced with waiters in exotic headdresses. Bourgeoisie, proletariat and such wondrously named classes mix..in short, it is cultural to the max. And you drink coffee. Even the Indian Coffee House – remember it is run by the coffee workers themselves and governed by a Government Coffee Board or some such – Coffee incarnate if you will – have on their menu just three forms of coffee: Hot Coffee, Cold Coffee, Black Coffee. And the hot coffee, you can have in a 'set' or in a cup. Coffee ordered you can now invest all that time debating rebellion, existentialism, post-industrial deconstructionism, cubism, or all those impossibly anarchist things. How utterly charming.
Post OverMarketer Coffee Taboo. Sorry, now you simply cannot order coffee. Nonsense. You need advanced knowledge of Germanic, Anglo-Saxon and Romance languages, glottal-laryngeal training, fermentation chemistry and production processes only a little less daunting than witchcraft. Look at the hoops you have to jump through to even decide what to order. And, IMHO, every one of these coffees tastes the same. The prices are comparable to Defense Contractor Scandal levels and each cup could contribute significantly to the GNP of the country it was sourced from. The Paper cup is a kind of social badge and is to be carried around all day to show people you have arrived.
And this is the story across sectors. Educational outfits that promise your children will win Nobel prizes, Banks that will revolutionize your financial life, Fashion that will make you a much-desired sex symbol, Cosmetics that will have you refusing contest awards and self-publishing outfits that will make you the best selling author tonight. Religious groups promise instant Nirvana. Gyms are instant sculptors. Lo-calorie product manufacturers get annoyed if you tell them that not eating products is no-calorie! Eggs are gluten, lutein, protein, barn fed, free-range, omega three, vitamin free, antibiotic-free, untouched by hand, touched only by hand, laid by happy hens with vacation time….And so the march continues. Meanwhile here’s an example of OverMarketing from an extremely unlikely and unexpected area.
Natural History and how it has been OverMarketed David Attenborough would walk us through impeccable filmography and in his incomparable voice make us wonder at him and nature.
And then the OverMarketers got to it. And here's how it works. There will be a mammal or snake or spider going about its business peacefully. Suddenly a man (overwhelmingly) who can only be described as a composite Indiana Jones+Loki+Outdoor Fashion Model fills the screen. Not for him, mere charming Natural History, it has to be Anatomy – close up. Said snake or Armadillo, Sloth or spider is unceremoniously hauled from its web or burrow. Much grunting and pulling later the poor creature is held aloft and its various parts are presented in turn to the camera. The head is squeezed to demonstrate the veins in its lovely eyeballs or the intestines are turned inside out to show the 'interesting serrated ridges of its stomach'. The mouth is prised apart 180 Degrees to show the pharyngeal teeth and then it is swung around by its tail to show off its aerodynamic skin. After being thoroughly violated in every which way, the poor thing is let loose while the voice-over admonishes much effort needed to save this beautiful animal from extinction. What is extinct here is sensitivity to irony.
Now consider the plight of the National Park guide conducting visitors through a guided tour. If by chance he does spot a Five-Toed sloth it is not enough to point to it hanging quietly from a treetop. He will be considered a sissy, a weakling, a faint-hearted wimp. The collective exhortation of the OverMarketed group is to shake the tree, tear the sloth off it, turn it upside down, inside out, sit on it and return it to the tree as a Three-Toed Sloth. Who wants to volunteer as a Nature Guide now?
The Opportunity is Back None of the arguments here are contesting aesthetic choices. Sure some people would like to buy shoes or coffee or wine or bicycles or clothes in a very involved way. They might be willing to spend more money, time, etc. It is surely their privilege. The problem with OverMarketing is that customers have been inveigled to believe there is no other way. And this leads to poor choices, spending beyond means, and waste. The natural tendency apart from hand-wringing, candlelight vigils and collective breast-beating would be to set up an NGO to fight OverMarketers. But the evidence itself indicates that there is a more interesting and practical way. Beat the OverMarketers at their own game. And that we will deal with in another article. Till then, over and out…...
Thanks. Lloyd Lawrence Lobo. https://www.instagram.com/meterchai. for the illustrations !
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